Drama!

So, I have been reading Ted Casablanca's "The Awful Truth" for years now - even longer than Perez Hilton.

One of Ted's best features is "Blind Vice Friday" where he gives us the scandalous details on (unnamed) celebrities. His most famous blind vice is Toothy Tile, a super-famous Hollywood actor that happens to be gay (and very kinky, according to Ted) who first showed up in his column 3+ years ago. For the longest time, I was positive that Toothy was Jake Gyllenthaal, for a number of reasons. But today, Ted's column came out with the following Q&A:

Dear Ted:
Please don't be like Toothy himself when asked a tough question. Just give a simple answer. A yes or no will do. No beating around the bush or skirting the issue. Is there a Baby Tile?
—Tom, Mt. Laurel


Dear Gay Shooter:
Yes.

What?!? Jake doesn't have a baby!! Does this mean that perhaps he is not Toothy Tile, that I have been misguided all of these years?

I am starting to think that TT is MM... Matthew McConaughey. I don't know - this is so confusing...

(By the way, I am on vacation, which gives me the right to ponder silly things like Toothy Tile's identity all evening long...)