An open letter (or eight).

Dear elderly driver - Thanks for driving 25 mph in a 40 mph zone at 8:30 on a weekday morning. I didn't want to get to work on time anyway.

Dear coworker - Thanks for using the one room in the entire building with no windows and a lock on the door to make your personal phone calls. I'll just come back and pump breastmilk to feed my baby later, okay?

Dear Greg Gutfeld - Thanks for making "Red Eye" the most enjoyable television program airing at 3:00 am. Now I have something to watch every night while feeding my six-month-old who no longer wants to sleep through the night.

Dear immune system - Thanks for the cold. Now I have something to keep me company on my drive to and from New Jersey on Saturday.

Dear Town of Clifton Park - Thanks for starting road construction during the middle of morning rush hour. Gives me time to enjoy seeing my taxpayer dollars at work.

Dear person who coined the phrase "no use crying over spilled milk" - Thanks for that gem. Obviously, you have never accidentally knocked over a full bottle of pumped breastmilk.

Dear Facebook - Thanks for the fun, but my relationship with Twitter is much more fulfilling. It's not me, it's you.

Dear Asher Roth - Thanks for writing the song, "I Love College." Now I miss college... and I feel old.

Week-end update.

First week back to work following our "staycation" - and what a hectic week it was! Some highlights:

*We celebrated back to school week with a little party on Tuesday night. Cake, candles, and a custom-made "happy back to school" song. Made the transition back into our normal routine just a bit easier.

*In other Harrison news, we are on Day 3 with no paci. We weren't planning on cutting him off cold turkey, but it just happened. He is doing okay without it, especially since the "paci fairy" brought him cars and some money to buy a train in exchange for the paci.

*Elijah is doing awesome (he just agreed with me by spitting up in my lap). He has been babbling up a storm and rolling around like a madman! His favorite activities include spending time in the exersaucer and playing with my hair.

*Things baby Elijah doesn't love? Sleeping through the night. I haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks, maybe months. And bottles. (At least today, when he decided to starve himself at school.)

*Speaking of school, Harrison came home today and told us how he watched videos at school. Great. I spend $200/week for him to watch videos. If I wanted the TV to babysit him, he could stay home with Ari and we could subscribe to Netflix.

*Even though it was rough going back to work, I am fortunate to have a job that, for the most part, I love. My coworkers are hysterical - and some of them don't even know it. Add a steady stream of entertaining emails to the mix and my days fly by!

On deck for the weekend? Cleaning tonight, in preparation for company next weekend. Great Escape tomorrow (hoping for a quiet day). And picking up a new jersey for Harrison to wear on Sunday - go GMEN!

What are your plans for the weekend?

Help!

Since September is finally here, I guess that it is okay to start talking about Halloween costumes.

A couple of weeks ago, I asked Harrison what he wanted to be for Halloween. "A fish," he said.

Awesome! My mom already bought Elijah a little inchworm costume and at least the two costumes would coordinate. And a fish costume should be easy to find, right?

Wrong. With the exception of a Nemo costume on DisneyShopping.com, I haven't been able to find a single fish costume out there (and I have been to every corner of the Internet). It's not that I have anything against character costumes, but I would rather have a more generic, cute fish costume.

I have already tried to get Harrison to change his mind by tempting him with dinosaur, shark and spider costumes - no dice. He still wants to be a fish.

Any ideas?

Vacation week.

Daycare is closed this week, so hubby and I took the week off from work to spend 10 days of quality time with our little guys. Instead of going somewhere this year, we decided that this will be our "staycation" week, where we will take advantage of everything that upstate NY has to offer. (Thankfully, staycationing is hip around here, since we have no money or desire to go anywhere else.)

I am tired.

Seriously, I think that it is the fatal flaw of working moms like myself. Knowing that my time with them is limited, doing anything that I don't consider quality time in the hours that they are awake is not an option. (Reason #1 why neither of my children watch television.)

During a normal week, I try to work out, shower, go grocery shopping, stop at the dry cleaners, make lunches and clean while the kids are asleep. This way, I get to ensure that I am meeting my quality time quota with them.

But this week has been quality time on steroids. Maybe if it wasn't so cold around here, we would be spending more lazy days by the pool. Maybe if it wasn't so nice out, we would be forced to hang out in our pajamas, coloring and reading books. But no - instead, we are cramming a summer's worth of fun activities into one week.

We have already been to Build a Bear, the Great Escape, Saratoga Race Track, and Lake George. We played mini golf, took a boat ride, rode on our trike, took long walks, went out to breakfast twice (including once with just me and the boys) and dinner once.

And the week isn't done - plans for the second half include Elijah's half-birthday tomorrow, apple picking, outlet shopping in MA, the Great Escape (again!) and out to dinner to celebrate Diana's graduation. A trip to the Children's Museum in Saratoga and a pony ride may also enter the mix. And don't forget all of the yummy dinners that I plan on making since I have the time (unlike most weekdays, where my key dinner criteria are quick and healthy).

I need a vacation from my vacation!