Self improvement.

Ever since Harrison was born, I have felt like my life has been in a holding pattern. Don't get me wrong - between my job, family, friends, and the dogs, things were pretty crazy even before adding children into the mix. But having Harrison (and Elijah) made me re-examine my priorities.

My family? The most important thing in my life. My job? Also very important - although I hate being away from the boys, I would also hate not having a paycheck. My friends? Even though I don't get to see them as much as I used to, I still love them. The pups? They're still around, and they still like me to pet them and play with them once in awhile.

Something had to give - and I felt like that something was me. My days have fallen into a routine: wake up, get ready for work, get the boys up, get Elijah fed and dressed, get the boys out the door and dropped off at daycare, drive to work, work, eat lunch at my desk, work some more, drive home, cook dinner, feed Elijah, eat dinner, clean kitchen, play with boys, get boys ready for bed, read Harrison a book, get Harrison a glass of water, put Harrison to bed, feed Elijah, change Elijah, put Elijah to bed, get bags packed, lunches made, coffee ready, watch some TV, fall into bed. If I'm lucky, Elijah will wake up once during the night. If I'm not, Elijah will wake up four times. It's like treading water.

My free time is non-existant. But I realized that I need to make some time for myself, or I am going to go crazy. So I'm working on making some positive - if small - changes in my life. For example:

* Until recently, I was lucky to make it through the latest issue of Parenting magazine. Now I have been turning off the computer and taking the time to - gasp! - open a book and read, I'm currently in the middle of "The Devil in the White City," a historical account of the World's Fair. And I am loving it.

* Having two kids in two years meant that most of the new clothes in my closet are maternity clothes. So I have been buying a few new pieces for my wardrobe. And it feels great.

* Hubby and I have been doing things and going places - without the kids. In the past month, we went to a party at a friend's house and went to a local bar to hear a band play. Both times, kids were not invited, we had a couple of drinks - and it was fun.

* And I have been working out every other day. Do I wish that I could devote more time to getting back into shape? Of course. But this is a good first step.

Don't get me wrong - being a mom is my number-one priority. But it is so easy to lose yourself in the process. Taking the time to take care of myself has been awesome. And spending a few minutes a day doing something for myself has not caused my world to fall apart.

Now I just need to try and stick with it...

Hmmm.....

Lately I have been feeling a bit... off. I can't explain it - I don't feel sad, but I just don't feel like myself. I'm going through all the usual day-to-day activities, but something just feels different.

(Okay, I re-read the paragraph above and realized that I sound like the voiceover in one of those anti-depressant commercials. I am not depressed. And no, I am definitely not pregnant!)

Maybe it's the change of seasons. Or the transition from one big project to another at work. Or the fact that I have had exactly one decent night sleep since August.

Too much on my mind, I guess. I'm definitely guilty of worrying too much about everything. And over-thinking everything.

I think that I need to go shopping. Forget my worries and focus on sweaters and shoes. Retail therapy solves everything, right?

An open letter (or eight).

Dear elderly driver - Thanks for driving 25 mph in a 40 mph zone at 8:30 on a weekday morning. I didn't want to get to work on time anyway.

Dear coworker - Thanks for using the one room in the entire building with no windows and a lock on the door to make your personal phone calls. I'll just come back and pump breastmilk to feed my baby later, okay?

Dear Greg Gutfeld - Thanks for making "Red Eye" the most enjoyable television program airing at 3:00 am. Now I have something to watch every night while feeding my six-month-old who no longer wants to sleep through the night.

Dear immune system - Thanks for the cold. Now I have something to keep me company on my drive to and from New Jersey on Saturday.

Dear Town of Clifton Park - Thanks for starting road construction during the middle of morning rush hour. Gives me time to enjoy seeing my taxpayer dollars at work.

Dear person who coined the phrase "no use crying over spilled milk" - Thanks for that gem. Obviously, you have never accidentally knocked over a full bottle of pumped breastmilk.

Dear Facebook - Thanks for the fun, but my relationship with Twitter is much more fulfilling. It's not me, it's you.

Dear Asher Roth - Thanks for writing the song, "I Love College." Now I miss college... and I feel old.

Week-end update.

First week back to work following our "staycation" - and what a hectic week it was! Some highlights:

*We celebrated back to school week with a little party on Tuesday night. Cake, candles, and a custom-made "happy back to school" song. Made the transition back into our normal routine just a bit easier.

*In other Harrison news, we are on Day 3 with no paci. We weren't planning on cutting him off cold turkey, but it just happened. He is doing okay without it, especially since the "paci fairy" brought him cars and some money to buy a train in exchange for the paci.

*Elijah is doing awesome (he just agreed with me by spitting up in my lap). He has been babbling up a storm and rolling around like a madman! His favorite activities include spending time in the exersaucer and playing with my hair.

*Things baby Elijah doesn't love? Sleeping through the night. I haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks, maybe months. And bottles. (At least today, when he decided to starve himself at school.)

*Speaking of school, Harrison came home today and told us how he watched videos at school. Great. I spend $200/week for him to watch videos. If I wanted the TV to babysit him, he could stay home with Ari and we could subscribe to Netflix.

*Even though it was rough going back to work, I am fortunate to have a job that, for the most part, I love. My coworkers are hysterical - and some of them don't even know it. Add a steady stream of entertaining emails to the mix and my days fly by!

On deck for the weekend? Cleaning tonight, in preparation for company next weekend. Great Escape tomorrow (hoping for a quiet day). And picking up a new jersey for Harrison to wear on Sunday - go GMEN!

What are your plans for the weekend?

Help!

Since September is finally here, I guess that it is okay to start talking about Halloween costumes.

A couple of weeks ago, I asked Harrison what he wanted to be for Halloween. "A fish," he said.

Awesome! My mom already bought Elijah a little inchworm costume and at least the two costumes would coordinate. And a fish costume should be easy to find, right?

Wrong. With the exception of a Nemo costume on DisneyShopping.com, I haven't been able to find a single fish costume out there (and I have been to every corner of the Internet). It's not that I have anything against character costumes, but I would rather have a more generic, cute fish costume.

I have already tried to get Harrison to change his mind by tempting him with dinosaur, shark and spider costumes - no dice. He still wants to be a fish.

Any ideas?

Vacation week.

Daycare is closed this week, so hubby and I took the week off from work to spend 10 days of quality time with our little guys. Instead of going somewhere this year, we decided that this will be our "staycation" week, where we will take advantage of everything that upstate NY has to offer. (Thankfully, staycationing is hip around here, since we have no money or desire to go anywhere else.)

I am tired.

Seriously, I think that it is the fatal flaw of working moms like myself. Knowing that my time with them is limited, doing anything that I don't consider quality time in the hours that they are awake is not an option. (Reason #1 why neither of my children watch television.)

During a normal week, I try to work out, shower, go grocery shopping, stop at the dry cleaners, make lunches and clean while the kids are asleep. This way, I get to ensure that I am meeting my quality time quota with them.

But this week has been quality time on steroids. Maybe if it wasn't so cold around here, we would be spending more lazy days by the pool. Maybe if it wasn't so nice out, we would be forced to hang out in our pajamas, coloring and reading books. But no - instead, we are cramming a summer's worth of fun activities into one week.

We have already been to Build a Bear, the Great Escape, Saratoga Race Track, and Lake George. We played mini golf, took a boat ride, rode on our trike, took long walks, went out to breakfast twice (including once with just me and the boys) and dinner once.

And the week isn't done - plans for the second half include Elijah's half-birthday tomorrow, apple picking, outlet shopping in MA, the Great Escape (again!) and out to dinner to celebrate Diana's graduation. A trip to the Children's Museum in Saratoga and a pony ride may also enter the mix. And don't forget all of the yummy dinners that I plan on making since I have the time (unlike most weekdays, where my key dinner criteria are quick and healthy).

I need a vacation from my vacation!

A day in the life.

Life with two kids=never a dull moment. Case in point:

* I was getting Elijah dressed for school this morning and I couldn't understand why they would include such thick socks with a summer outfit. It wasn't until we got to school and one of his socks fell off that I realized that I forgot to take the cotton out of the toes. Oops.

* Harrison hates going to school this morning. The only time that he gets into the car without a fight is when I promise to stop at "Doctor Mark's" (the gas station) on the way. Mark - who owns the gas station - always comes over and talks to Harrison in the mornings, and Harrison is in awe of the cars in the garage. By the time we leave the gas station, he is grinning from ear-to-ear, and I feel like a hero - at least until I have to leave him at school and he starts crying, "Don't go, Mommy!"

* This afternoon, I picked the kids up after school. Harrison was playing outside in the sandbox with his friends. He comes up to me with a weed and said, "I picked this flower for you, Mommy!" My heart melted. On the way home, he asked if he could hold my flower, and I gave it to him. We get into the house, he sees hubby, and says, "I picked this flower for you, Daddy!" Traitor.

* The second I picked up baby Elijah this afternoon, he broke into the biggest smile ever. Made my day.

Now Harrison is in bed and Elijah is asleep on my lap, and all is well. Ready for more adventures tomorrow...